An interesting twist happened over the weekend…

The developer asked whether he could use my deposit amount to help with his cash flow, and offered me a R20,000.00 discount on the purchase price of the apartment!

I said yes on principle (I think I’d be a fool not to!) BUT the agreement has been run through the legal channels on the proviso that my loan be approved… With some determination - and the lower loan amount - the process will go through!  Can’t wait…

Someone once said that hurting people hurt people. Maybe that’s true - I won’t know. I usually stay as far from other people as I possibly can when I feel really, really broken up. Like my favourite animal, I prefer to lick my wounds where no-one can find and bother me.

My tame shrink says that MY Mr Right is on his way from Alaska. On foot! In that case, someone better charter the man a plane - he might even be able to fly despite the volcano!

I’m just tired of being not-quite-good-enough. Tired of being a great friend. Tired of being “nice”. I’m fed up with being the shoulder everyone cries on, yet being left to bear MY heartache on my own. I want to be special to someone, too. I want to be the one who gets flowers and nice dinners and special treats and gifts. I want to be swept off my feet and seduced and made wild passionate love to. I want the whole wedding scene with the church and the flowers and the fancy dress and the “till death us do part”…

I’m just soooooo tired of being on my own. And the loneliness is finally getting to me. I wish I had someone special to share these feelings with. Someone in whose company I could give total voice to these sorry-for-myself feelings and who would hold me until I’ve cried myself out, and then tell me to get a grip on myself and get a life and be the best me I can be, because men are all jerks and who needs them anyway? They’re just good for one thing, after all… (OK, two, but I don’t need to open THAT many bottles..!)

Maybe I’ll arrange me a marriage. Could be interesting… Got everything in mind, anyway. Now all I need is a willing vict…groom!

And I feel better already!!!

I can think of no other explanation for why I made that specific comment, on that occasion, in that setting, to that particular person…

Let me start at the beginning…

I signed for a property in early February 2010. The deposit was due on the 15^th of April. For some reason, I was a day late, but I got the correct account details and went into the bank - a branch in the city where no-one knew me - to complete the transfer. It was a Friday morning in the middle of the month, so no queues, and I got helped fairly instantly.

I had taken my ID book out of my handbag the day before, to save bulk, but I always carry my drivers’ license on me and that can be used as a means of identification as well.

After swiping my card, entering my PIN and answering some questions that only I would know the answers to, the teller asked whether she could see some ID. That made sense, as the deposit amount IS massive. I asked whether they would accept my drivers’ licence (some institutions don’t!) as I didn’t carry my ID book on me.

Now for the trigger: as long as it’s valid.

And my response???

“Well…. the person who sold it to me assured me it would be valid for at least a year!”

You should have seen the expression on her face, until she saw the expression on mine! Fortunately, she was a good sport, and the transaction went through without any further delays.

I am now the proud owner of 59.2 % of 4 and a half concrete pillars. (3 whole ones and 3 half ones…)

Now to get a bank to agree to loan me the rest…

I think I need to see someone about getting my temper checked.  I’m probably the most volatile person I know. And no, I can’t ascribe all of that to my brain injury. (I wish I could - would explain everything!)

Or maybe I simply need a long weekend away.  Change of scenery.

Heaven knows, this whole bond thing is getting to me big time.  I have found the documents that the bank needs - saying that my retail accounts have been paid up.  The bank records they can track on their own system!  It’s going to cost me too much to go to a bank and have them printed.  All this effort to prove that I can afford a measly R900,00 a month!

Hey, I’m a big fan of the National Credit Act - don’t misunderstand me there! It’s just a helluvalotta schlep to get a loan, now, even if one CAN afford the repayments.  And I would have thought that the best and quickest place to get a loan from, would be the bank that I’ve been with for quite a few years, now. (Won’t mention the bank!)  Instead, I get the run-around.

At the moment, I feel like taking my cash money, buying a plot somewhere and erecting a sink shack!  A lot less hassle!

For the first time in my life, I have almost no debt and a big bank balance. However, that does not seem to satisfy the dear people at Nedbank. Maybe I have to do something something radical. Just don’t know what…

“They” say buying a house is one of life’s most stressful exercises. I’ve never believed that before, so I guess it’s poetic justice that I am now reaping the rewards… At least I’m not married, otherwise I might have been divorced by now… At the moment, I’m seriously on my way to a murder conviction, anyway! I’m going to get the people the papers they want, and if they’re not happy with that, I’ll consider moving my business. Life’s too short for not getting the service you want.

Today I did something really, really sneaky - I cut in front of a minibus-taxi!  Just thought I’d share it…

One Oak Daybed in need of TLC and Woodoc

I bought a day bed!  No, it isn’t a Mr Price Home Flatpack, but a solid oak daybed!  Yes, it cost me a small fortune, and would need a lot of TLC and Woodoc, but I reckon

• that it’ll suit my lifestyle better than something metal!
• that it would be worth keeping even if I eventually upgrade to a different, larger apartment or house somewhere

Now to get it to Rustenburg…

10-04-2010

The bed was delivered this morning!  WOW - it actually looks better in reality than on the picture!  However, it WILL need a bit of sanding.  Someone decided it would be a good idea to coat the bed in varnish, and that varnish is now yucky!  What the picture doesn’t show, either, are the copper plates that hold the wood together.  I cleaned that with some metal cleaner and it looks GREAT.

When I left home with him this morning, I had already decided NOT to buy him the shoes he wanted.  After all, why should I use my money to buy him a pair of CAT shoes?  Can’t he be happy with a normal pair of sneakers, that he afforded himself?

I guess it would have been less of an issue had he simply said thanks for all the time, effort and money I spent in entertaining him as an uninvited guest for two nights.  And he got all huffy when I said he couldn’t smoke in my car any more.  PLUS his cigarette butts are still in the ashtray outside.  I agree with my mom on this one - as a smoker, the least courtesy he could have shown is to dispose of his own cigarette butts.

Good riddance of bad rubbish.  I do feel rather empty, but not because I had lost a friend by any means.  I feel angry at him for using me that way.  For once, trying not to turn the anger towards myself.  I don’t need that.

I just wish I could have had some support.  A hug would have been nice.