The Lady Hooligan’s Page

Part of my networking business involves reading personal development books, and listening to CD’s of success stories and teaching. Not all the books and CD’s have something to do with the business itself, but a lot of the knowledge can be applied in day to day life as well. Frankly, if I never make a cent out of the business (I actually DO make money out of it, by the way!), I would stay in it for the people and the personal development.

The book of the month for June 2009 here in the South African market is One Door, Two Locks by Dr. Jim Muncy. It’s all about the mindset one needs to achieve success. He says that there are two locks to open the door to success to anything in life. The one is specific skills needed for the area in which one wants to achieve (eg. Sales skills for a salesperson, medical knowledge for a doctor), but that without the general skills one needs to be successful ANYWAY (no matter where!) you won’t achieve success, just gain a lot of skill….

I’ve just read the chapter on the first key for the “success” lock. It’s about discernment. Our lives are ultimately a product of the way we think. Therefore, if we constantly surround ourselves with negative thoughts and negative thinkers, we’ll start thinking those same thoughts eventually, and we’ll develop those same lives. Seriously scary.

My action plan for the week is to catch my thoughts as I think them, judge them and weed out the ones that will ultimately cause myself harm. If that means that I make a point of avoiding those who always complain about everything, then that will be it! It might mean that I take my earphones to work, and listen to uplifting music or talks during the day, instead of complaints about family members and co-workers. At the same time, I want to be a positive influence on the people around me, being as low-maintenance as I can possibly be.

How, then?

• I am going to smile! I don’t like being around frowny-faces and I am going to assume that that goes for most other people. So to be attractive, I’d better exchange my frowny face for a smiley one!
• I am going to be part of the solution, even if I have a problem!
• I am going to think positive thoughts about negative people. After all, thinking negatively about them will only mess up MY life…
• I am going to think positive thoughts about my goals and dreams and set action plans to achieve those possibilities. I am not going to be swayed by people who drag me down for no other reason than to feel better about themselves and their lives.
• I am going to celebrate my life more often. I am going to focus on what I do right and on what I am passionate about and do more of that!

I am going to do this for at least a week and see how these actions and thought processes have impacted my life and those of people around me. I am going to re-read the chapter on discernment a few times this week, until it becomes part of the fabric that makes up me!

Next week: Optimism!

OK, so what would I PAY to do….?

• READ!!!
• Write (thoughts and dreams and goals…)
• Collect coloured gemstones
• Do cross-stitch
• Do scrapbooking

I seem to “spam” at least one comment a day… Not because I don’t like the comment, but because they really ARE spam!  Maybe I should count myself fortunate that my blog is worth sending such c…p to! Or not!

For a long time, I thought my dream was to be able to live in my own space… to “do what [I] wanna do, say what [I] wanna say, live how [I] wanna live, play how [I] wanna play”. (Like the Addams Family!) However, I have realised in the past few days (me being alone isn’t what it’s cracked up to be!) that there are other dreams in my heart and mind that I would rather be following.

I have been given the chance to go back to the East End library, where I started my library career, to oversee the reopening and the first few months of operation. It’s not going to be easy - it’s an extremely demanding community to work in! However, I guess I have found my sweet spot there many years ago, and it’s time to act on it!

The Rustenburg library system forms part of the Directorate Community Development in the local municipal system. However, I see precious little being done in terms of really developing communities around the city. A large part of the population is poor and badly educated, which means that the so-called Digital Divide will affect them the worst. If one adds a whole range of social problems onto that, it’s a recipe for disaster!

What I’d love to see happening, is for that little library (it’s really, really small!) to be part of a “hand up” for the community, giving them the tools to empower themselves, be it resources for school work, a safe place for studying and even a healthy environment for personal growth and development.

As far as I’m concerned, one cannot develop a community if one doesn’t empower individuals. It’s both that simple and that difficult.

So that’s the biggest reason for me going back to the books. I want to be a librarian where one is needed most. Not in the ivory towers, but in the communities themselves, making a REAL difference!

There’s a lot to say for that Joan Armatrading song as affirmation of one’s independence… However, I have not realised until now how apt it is…

I have been chatting online to someone who may or may not be related to the man who started a huge international group of hotels. Whether he is, is irrelevant. What seriously disturbs me, though, is that I have the distinct impression that this chap would be one of those men who would like to dominate his women to such an extent that they would have no life whatsoever of their own left! I have had the dubious honor of leading such a life before, escaped from there with the help of some very good friends and got my self-esteem together. I’ll be damned if I fall into that mess again, money and heritage or no…

This character would have been Mr Almost-OK… And I won’t settle for less than Mr Perfect-for-me!

But then he has probably never met any woman who

• doesn’t know, and
• doesn’t care, about his wealth, toys and family connections!
• Doesn’t jump to it when he snaps his fingers.

Ouch! That must bruise his ego big-time! Shame…

Not me… but today was the day for sour faces…  Some people just seem to have the knack for turning any day into a lemon…!  I’ve never experienced so many moanies on one day before…

Eish!

Hope this baby does not grow up to be a library patron... ;-)

At last week’s course, the facilitator said something else that I took to heart… She said that we had to find our “sweet spot” at work, and work there! It was no use having an aptitude for something and ignoring it altogether if one could incorporate it into what one does at work…

Anyway, so I made it this weeks project to find out exactly what my sweet spot IS…

Seems that my sweet spot at work is directly related to my passion for reading. I love suggesting good reads to the people who come to the library, and have managed to do so without forcing my taste upon them… But then having a very wide taste in reading material helps, too!

A colleague came into the office this morning, totally incensed… She said that some of my colleagues are complaining that they aren’t given responsibilities, because they’re not qualified. Which is fair - whether I like it or not, a librarian is a professional person…

That gripe got me thinking…

I have been struggling to complete my degree for years now… It’s not that I’m not smart - I have a three-digit number that confirm that I have a few working brain cells - but I seem to have lost interest in what I was doing. Last night - at home - I thought about the whole thing of being qualified, and realised that even though I shall have to re-register for my degree from scratch (with hopefully some credits!), I can probably make it part-time in about 3 years if I really apply myself.

And when I finally do have the degree in hand, I’d be better qualified than most of my colleagues!!!

That’s something worth working for!!!

I want this tattoo, in UV, on ME!

I’ve been looking at UV tattoos lately. They look really, really radical! Never the timid one, I would love to have one on my face! But maybe I should start with something a bit smaller somewhere else…

My problem is that I have a very light skin, with a tendency to scar, So I am rather wary of having something like that on my body - because it might just be visible in broad daylight after all!!!

The other thing is that I don’t know of any tatttoo studios in South Africa who do UV tattoos.  There is a big issue on the Net with ink being carcinogenic, but I gather that problem has been sorted for the most bit.  I’ll just have to ask around some, methinks…

I attended a course this week, on Monday and Tuesday.  The course was on Conflict Resolution and Negotiation Skills!  That’s obviously not a bad course to have under one’s belt, but I am rather tempted to add at this point that anger management counselling would have been more appropriate for yours charmingly.

Despite my initial misgivings about the course and its appropriateness to my circumstances, I was pleasantly surprised at the way I could implement that information, not only at work, but in life in general.

My personal problem in most conflict situations is that I tend to think with my emotions.  The problem with thinking with one’s emotions is that one switches off one’s mind in the process and reverts back to “animal instinct”.  And being animal is not a good thing at work, even when one does work for the local government!  So the key is to step back for a moment or two, and actually start thinking with one’s BRAIN!  Sure, that’s probably common sense to most people, but extremely difficult to apply once the heat is on!

My other big stumbling block lies in the way I handle criticism.  Sure, no-one I know likes being criticised, and not everyone gives it the right way, either!  However, I have realised that I should stop for a second, think about the words, and realise that not every bit of criticism flung my way is meant as a personal attack!  If I stop to think for a second, I’ll even realise that there are times when I AM at fault, and that it’s much easier to work on ME than it is to try and change other people.

So that’ll be my mission for the rest of June - to see where I can improve on ME!  Yes, I know one doesn’t mess with perfection, but then maybe a bit of work won’t hurt too much!

Today, I sorted out my cubicle at work, with the help of a big rubbish bag and a shredder.  Even my boss noticed!!! So maybe that’s a good start!