The Lady Hooligan’s Page

My Vital/Lethal Statistics (You decide which!)

And - of course! - my pictures…

This is what an antique dresser should look like!

This is an antique dresser… Surrounded by modern mess!!!

My late dad used to call my attempts at sorting out my stuff “an excercise in displacing chaos”…  I wasn’t impressed with him at the time, but in hindsight that is a pretty accurate description for what I’m doing…

My project for the day was to sort out the drawers, throw or pack away everything that I don’t need in there or has exceeded its usefulness, and generally swipe the dust away…  And - obviously - clearing away the boxes and stacks of paper around it!  Somewhere in there is a bathroom scale, which I need for my next big blogging project!

Well, I used my time well today and one can actually see the surface of the dresser!  Guess this means I’m well on my way to becoming ALMOST organised…

I had a run-in with my mom tonight.  No, it wasn’t the first time this happened, but unfortunately I can’t afford NOT to live with her and beggars can’t be choosers.  It still left a horrible taste in my mouth, though, which I struggle to get rid of.

I am on leave.  That means that I am at home.  It also means that I am expected to do extra chores because - duh - I’m not at work.  Make no mistake; I have no issue with doing chores.  As I mentioned in the first paragraph, beggars can’t be choosers.  One of those chores involves looking after the dogs, seeing that they have food, etc.

What got my goat tonight is that my mom, before she even greeted me, came with an accusation of “You’re neglecting the dogs!”  Firstly, I am not neglecting them.  I did take them for a long walk just before 5, they did their doggy doo and they got fed.  I resent the implication that I don’t do what I’m supposed to.  I resent it at work and I doubly resent it at home!

I don’t think there is any reason why I should be chewed out over anything related to those canines, as my mom has spoilt them terribly, feeding them kitchen scraps.  Besides, they can have their one bowl of food in the morning, as is prudent.  Full stop.

And now I am done with this situation.  I am really looking out for somewhere else to stay, even if it means I have to sell my body to do so. (No, I’m not kidding - I’ve never been more serious!)  Let you all know how this turns out.

“Live out of your imagination, not your history.” - Stephen Covey

I guess when it’s one’s birthday one can indulge in writing more than one blog post on different topics…  Especially when one celebrates one’s 32^nd birthday with one’s cats!  Surprisingly, for the occasion I was stone cold sober, considering that I took a long, hard look in a full-length mirror at the cynical, bitter, lonely person I have allowed myself to become over the past almost 20 years!

So, maybe I should not only focus on my outside goals for this next personal year, but also take a good, hard look at who I want to become INSIDE.  Who am I really when no-one sees me and how can I become the kind of person that people find funny, interesting, attractive and want to be around?  Maybe that would be the answer, rather than looking at how I can earn more and weigh less… I don’t really know.

And yes, I should live out of my imagination a lot more, and not be bogged down by might-have-beens and could-have-beens and should-have-beens and would-have-beens-if-I-only…  After all, things will only become real once they have been dreamt about and worked toward.

So, coffee mug in hand, I salute the woman in the mirror, thank her for all the valuable lessons she taught me, and then turn around and start living my life!

I took a side trip into the murky world of bdsm these past few weeks.  And learnt a lot…  Not only about bondage, discipline and all the rest, but also about ME.

Yes, ME in CAPS.  No, I’m not a Domme by any stretch of the imagination, but I have worth. And I don’t have to submit myself to anyone else for sexual gratification!

I’ll submit myself to my husband - if ever the time comes for me to have one - because that is the right thing to do, but there are limits to what abuse I am prepared to face.

No, if bdsm is Y/your “thing”, Y/you’re welcome to it, but it’s not mine.  And I’m glad!

Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

(Hamlet. Act 1, Scene 3)

In the 33rd year of Tessa van Niekerk, I shall stop trying to be what I’m not to try and impress people that I don’t like and who don’t care about me!  This goes for everything I say, everything I do and everywhere I go!